Is gun play good or bad for children?For many years I emphasized its harmlessness.When concerned parents expressed doubt about letting their children have toy guns,because they didn't want to encourage them in the slightest degree to become criminals,I would explain how little connection there was.In the course of growing up,children have a natural tendency to bring their aggressiveness more and more under control if their parents encourage this.Onetotwoyearolds,when they are angry with another child,may bite the child's arm without hesitation.But by 3 or 4 they have already learned that aggression is not right.However,they may pretend to shoot their mother or father,but smiling to assure them that the gun and the aggressive behaviour aren't to be taken seriously.
In the 6to12yearold period,children will play an earnest game of war,but it has lots of rules.There may be arguments,but real fights are relatively rare.At this agechildren don't shoot at their mother or father,even in fun.It's not that the parents have turned stricter; the children's own conscience has.In adolescence aggressive feelings become much stronger,but well broughtup children can turn them into athletics and other competition or into kidding their friends.
In other words,I'd explain that playing at war is a natural step in the disciplining of the aggression of young children; that a cautious parent doesn't really need to worry about producing a criminal.
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