The“stop crying” parents are just doing what they were taught by their own parents，who were probably taught that by their parents.Telling your child to stop crying is a kind of emotional abuse.If you don't know how to help him，your child may still need help with depression or other issues later in life.This cycle can be stopped，however，if we learn how to create healthy anger in our kids.

　　To understand why stopping children crying is unhealthy，think of physical wounds.When you cut your finger，your body knows to tighten blood vessels and release white blood cells.In order to let your cut finger heal，you've got to let the body's natural process work.Like the body，the mind knows what needs to happen to heal emotional wounds.To heal your anger，you've got to let yourself go through a healing process as well.

　　The first thing you can do to create healthy anger in your children is to create healthy anger in yourself.Try mindfulness exercises to start feeling more comfortable being angry.It's our resistance to anger that often makes our anger worse.Once you're better at experiencing anger and expressing it in a healthy way—a way that isn't an explosion of rage (暴怒)—you'll be able to model a good anger style for your kids.

　　Preventing kids from expressing their feelings may also create shame.Children can't segregate their feelings from their self­image，so when they express their feelings by crying and are told that it's “nothing to cry about，” they come to the conclusion that they themselves are bad.

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