For generations of parents，sending children off to college meant knowing little to nothing about how their children were doing.Other than the occasional letter or call from a dorm room phone，children who had left home were mostly unseen and heard from infrequently.College kids could get into all kinds of trouble and their parents would know nothing about it until Christmas vacation or summer break.

　　Now，of course，that's not at all how it is.Parents of college students can spend hour upon hour examining photos on Instagram or Facebook of their children.They look for hints of sadness in their eyes，the way their clothes fit，whether they're really smiling or just sort of smiling.

　　However，I don't think it's necessary.College is a time of intense personal growth.Pain is a necessary lesson for the emotional leap from childhood to adulthood.Mothers shouldn't be able to see photos in real time that capture their children when they're at their worst—whether because of too much alcohol or too little happiness.

　　The blessing of social media is the ability to connect at any time with your child，no matter where he or she may be in the world.Facebook，Instagram and the rest are keeping our helicopters flying long after they should have landed.Maybe it would be better for all of us to be a little less aware of the state of our children's lives once they leave home.Better for the children，and certainly better for the parents.

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