审题谋篇 文章体裁 议论文 中心人称 第三人称 主体时态 一般现在时 要点 布局 第一段:描述漫画的主要内容(the child, the father and the mother)。 第二段:分析漫画所揭示的问题。
第三段:提出自己的看法。 1.过度保护孩子的危害; 2.提出解决问题的建议。 考场作文: From the picture we can see a family of three walking on a long red carpet. The well-dressed boy walks proudly and looks very ①relaxing. However, his mother is paving the way for him. Meanwhile, his father is walking behind him, holding his jacket to prevent him from ②hurt-ing.
As we all know, most Chinese parents are overprotecting their children. It's typical of them to give their children ③that they want. It does great harm to their development and growth.
Personally, parents should give their children plenty of space where they can improve their a-bility to live on their own. It's a must for them to adapt to the society and live a happy life in the future.
文章提升: 1.修改错误: 1)“人感到……”应使用-ed形容词,故应将①relaxing改为 。 2)hurt与him(指代孩子)构成被动关系,故应将②hurting改为 。 3)that引导宾语从句既不在从句中担当句子成分,也没有任何意义,故将③that改为 。 2.提升建议: 将画线部分变成主从复合句: 阅卷现场 参考范文: From the picture we can see a family of three walking on a long red carpet. The son, well dressed, waves proudly in the middle while the father behind bends forward to hold the jacket and the mother in front rolls out the carpet, sweating. It shows a common phenomenon nowadays that children are the focus of families, shouldering the hope of their parents. Parents arrange everything for their children and spare no effort to pave the way for their success. As a consequence, children become so reliant on their parents that they have no independent thought or creative ideas. Such a situation is of great concern. In my opinion, overprotection and too much care are extreme-ly bad for children's development. Instead of doing everything for them, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and inspire them to develop by themselves. Only in this way can they grow up to be independent and become truly successful. 答案 1.修改错误:1)relaxed 2)being hurt 3)whatever
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