62.
It can only be controlled if you allow it to be. Controlling behaviours is eventually the controller’s attempt to meet his or her own needs. If the controlling parent demands good grades, don’t do poorly. You are the strong one when you find ways to meet his or her needs and yours, without allowing them to get into your mind. They can force you to pretend to be something you are not, but they can’t change who you actually are.
63.
Most controlling parents are simply afraid that you will fail without their intervention. Because they feel it necessary to involve themselves in your life. If you can discover what seems to calm your parents, you will make your own life much easier. For example, if a note from your teacher telling them you haven’t turned in your homework will put you into trouble, do turn in the homework. It’s pretty simple but really—do what your parents want you to do, and they will be less intrusive in your life.
64.
Some parents control their family with anger. They really lose their temper, lose all self-control, and the result is no discussion. People are afraid to voice an opinion contrary to the angry parents because they fear what will happen. This is how anger is used to control you. If you can talk to the parents, ask for the 3-minute-rule approach. Using this approach allows everyone to be heard and also provides some “cooling off” time, which can help manage conflicts.
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