My daughter sat on her bed, and I sat beside her. “How would you feel if someone made fun of you for something that wasn't your fault?” I began. “She could stop eating so much,” Lucy mumbled, mouthing the simple advice a thousand doctors and well-meaning friends and relatives have given overweight women for years.
"It's not always that easy,” I said. “Everyone's different in terms of how they treat food”
Lucy looked at me, waiting for me to go on. I opened my mouth, then closed it. Should I tell her
that, in teasing a woman's weight, she's joined the long, proud tradition of critics who go after any woman with whom they disagree by starting with "you're ugly" and ending with “no man would want you and there must be something wrong with any man who does"?Should I tell her I didn't cry when someone posted my picture and commented, “I'm sorry, but aren't authors who write books marketed to young women supposed to be pretty?”
Does she need to know, now, that life isn't fair? I feel her eyes on me,waiting for an answer I don't have. Words are my tools.Stories are my job.It's possible she'll remember what I say forever, and I have no idea what to say.
So I tell her the only thing I can come up with that is absolutely true.I say to my daughter,
“I love you, and there is nothing you could ever do to make me not love you. But I'm disappointed in you right now. There are plenty of reasons for not liking someone. What she looks like isn't one of them.”
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