I’d love to go out for a meal or travel again. I’d love to go to my own church, sing with my own choir. I’d love to visit my friends. Most of them are gone now or else they are in different “homes” of their children’s choosing. I’d love to play a good game of bridge, but no one here seems to concentrate very well. My children put me here for my own good. They said they would be able to visit me frequently. But they have their own lives to lead. That sounds normal. I don’t want to be a burden. They know that. But I would like to see them more. One of them is here in town. He visits as much as he can.

　　Something else I’ve learned to accept is loss of privacy. Quite often I’ll close my door when my roommate—imagine having a roommate at my age—is in the TV room. I do appreciate some time to myself and believe that I have earned at least that courtesy(礼貌). As I sit thinking or writing, one of the aides invariably opens the door unannounced and walks in as if I’m not there. Sometimes she even opens my drawers and begins searching around. Am I invisible? Have I lost my right to respect and dignity? I am still a human being. I would like to be treated as one.

　　Back to my semiprivate room for a little semi-privacy or a nap(午睡). I do need my beauty rest; company may come today. What is today, again? The afternoon drags into early evening. This used to be my favorite time of the day. Things would wind down. I would kick off my shoes. Put my feet up on the coffee table. Pop open a bottle of Chablis and enjoy the fruits of my day’s labor with my husband. He’s gone. So is my health. This is my world.

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