Being a big girl now, I pushed those memories aside and picked up the soccer ball for the third time. I forced a good-natured laugh while crying inside as you patiently shouted words of support over the fence at me.

　　“Throw it granny-style!” one of you said.

　　“Just back up a little and give it all you’ve got!” another offered.

　　And, most embarrassing of all, “You can do it!”

　　I know you thought you were being encouraging, but it only served to deepen the shame.

　　Anyway, I accepted your ball-throwing advice, backed up, rocked back and forth a little, took a deep breath and

　　let it fly.

　　It hit the edge of the fence and bounced back to me.

　　I surprised myself—and I’m sure you as well—by letting out a cry, “DAMN IT!!!” I then willed myself to have a heart attack and pass out in front of you just so I’d be put out of my misery.

　　Alas, the heart attack didn’t happen, and you continued to look at me expectantly, like you were content to do this all night. I had become a sort of exhibition for you. I could feel your collective thoughts drifting through the chain-link: “Can she really not do it? But I mean, really?”

　　Unfortunately for you, I wasn’t really game to continue your experiment. Three failed attempts at a simple task in front of a group of people in a two-minute period were just enough blows for me for one night. I picked up the ball one last time, approached the fence and grumbled, “Please just come get the damn ball.”

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