Remember why they came to you

　　If they had wanted a teacher,or a parent,they could have gone to one.3. 

　　A map of the troubles

　　Think about each of your friendships,and ask yourself this question:

　　“Do we usually just have fun,without talking about some problems?”

　　4.　 Instead,they are asking you to be an advisor of some sort. 

　　Either back out of this friendship or insist that it change into something that both of you can enjoy.

　　When your help doesn’t help

　　When your love and caring isn’t enough,don’t be afraid to say so.

　　Remember that you can’t really help unless you want to,and you can’t possibly want to if you are being overused or if you are running out of time or energy.

　　5.　If they ask you where they can turn now,tell them all you know about resources(资源). 

　　A.Don’t think for them

　　B.Don’t get lost in the problem

　　C.They came to you because they wanted a friend!

　　D.Simply say,“I don’t think I can help you anymore with this.”

　　E.If they are scared,comfort them physically or with your words.

　　F.If the answer is “no,”your friends are not asking you to be a friend.

　　G.Don’t say “Maybe you need a good cry” unless you are willing to sit through the tears!

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