On a few __4__ during her two years of going to parties.“My heart would race so fast it felt like it was going to __5__.I felt weak and confused sometimes and __6__ passed out several times，” she recalls.“But I picked up from the ground __7__ I had a lot of pride in my drinking and drugging.I was really __8__ about it and proud of the fact that I could take more than a lot of people.I could come home and have a __9__ with my parents.”

　　Finally，__10__，things got out of control.“I couldn't go a day without taking something，” she __11__，“and after a while，the pills __12__ my stomach；it hurt all the time，and I hardly ate.Finally，I couldn't __13__ it any more.I went to my parents and told them I needed help.”

　　Amanda entered a __14__ program and has been calm since her release last January.“Detox was the __15__ four days of my entire life，” she says.“I was throwing up all the __16__ and had the shakes.”

　　She doesn't __17__ drugs.“I'm so hurt from this，” says Amanda，who has ulcers and damaged kidneys from the drugs and alcohol.“I have to __18__ daily to stay calm.But in some ways，I feel lucky I __19__ it，and I'm out of it now.”Amanda wrote a song called “Goodnight to the Moonlight.” Amanda says，“It's about how it feels to be taking drugs and alcohol，how it __20__，how it makes you feel like you're losing yourself.”

　　Notes：

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