When we knew that it might be his last birthday, the whole family decided to rearrange Thanksgiving plans and come together for a huge Grandpa Simon birthday celebration. It was a crowded party with lots of noise and abundant food. Dad was having the time of his life. He was a marvelous storyteller, and here was the biggest audience he'd ever had.
During a quiet moment, I announced that it was now Dad's turn
for a change. I wanted everyone to tell Grandpa Simon what we loved about him. The room became still, and even Dad was quiet.
One after another, people told stories from their hearts, while Dad listened with wet, flashing blue eyes. People recalled all kinds of lost memories — stories about when they were little, stories about when Dad was young... The stories flowed. Each one seemed to recall the memory of two more. Even the littlest grandchildren couldn't wait to tell Dad why they loved him.
A few months later, at Dad's memorial service, we more fully realized what we had given Dad that night. Those were the stories people normally tell at a funeral, after a loved one is no longer around to hear the words. They are told, then, full of tears. But we had given those loving memories to Dad in life, told through laughter, accompanied by hugs and joy. He had them to hold and roll over in his mind during his last months and days.
Words do matter, and they are enough. We just need to say them, to speak them to the ones we love. That's the way to give back love.
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