Many of us have problems with negative thoughts playing on the channel of our minds, but if you're buried in them and believe them, they could be wearing your sense of selfesteem (自尊). Here are a few beliefs that indicate you may need to switch the channel: I'm not good enough? /I don't deserve... ? /No one likes me? /I'm a failure?
Negative thoughts remind you of your bad feelings and they bring your focus on your failures,
and they get you nowhere.
What can you do? Here are some suggestions:
Switch the channel when negative thoughts appear. Selftalk is not so obvious that we often don't notice its effect on our mood and belief systems. Key things to notice are “if only” or “what if” statements: the former keeps you stuck in the past with regret, while the latter keeps you fearful of the future. There is nothing you can do about the past, and the future isn't here yet, so stay in the present moment.
Recognize that actions always follow beliefs. You'll find yourself behaving in ways that are consistent to your beliefs. So, start believing the best about yourself: act as if you believe that you're a valuable and worthy person.
Develop positive selftalk rather than negative selftalk. Instead of always looking down upon yourself in your head, think of some things you actually like about yourself. What are your strengths? What are you good at? Instead of saying “I'm a loser”, try saying, “I am capable./I'm good at.../I accept myself the way I am.”
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