语言朋友(19)

　　It was already half past seven and I was running late again for the dinner appointment with my wife, Eleanor.We had __1__ to meet at the restaurant at seven o'clock.I felt a little uneasy, but to my __2__I had a good excuse: A business meeting had __3__ and I'd wasted no time getting to the dinner.

　　When I arrived at the __4__ I apologized and told Eleanor I didn't mean to be late.She screamed, “You never mean to.” Well, I__5__ tell she was angry.“I'm sorry but it was not __6__，” I said.Then I told her about the business meeting.　__7__， my explanation seemed to make things worse, which started to drive __8__ mad as well.

　　Several weeks later, when I__9__ the situation to my friend Ken Hardy, he smiled, “You__10__ a classic mistake.You're stuck __11__ your own way of thinking.You didn't __12__ to be late.But that's not the point.What is__13__ in your communication is how your lateness affected Eleanor.” He pointed out that I focused on the intention__14__Eleanor focused on the result.Thus, __15__of us felt misunderstood and crazy.

　　Thinking more about Ken's words, I __16__recognized the root cause of such disagreement.It's the result of the action that really__17__.I should have started the conversation by expressing __18__ my actions affected Eleanor and __19__the discussions about my intention for later, much later and even never.

　　Later on, after talking to Eleanor and really__20__her experience of the results of my lateness, I've managed to be on time a lot more frequently.

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