My baby's noises were even more precious to me because Skyler had been born with several health problems.At first, the problems had delayed his development, but once they were safely behind us, I looked forward to my son's first words.They didn't come.

　　At age three，Skyler was diagnosed as autistic(自闭症的)，a developmental disability destined to affect his social and emotional well­being throughout his entire life.Skyler couldn't talk—wouldn't talk.I would probably never hear any words from him at all.In a store, I would hear a child calling “Mommy”， and I would wonder if that was what my little boy might sound like.I wondered how it would feel to hear my child call out for me.

　　But I could have learned to live with his silence if it weren't for another hallmark characteristic of autism：Skyler formed no attachments.He didn't want to be held, much preferring to lie in his bed or sit in his car seat.He wouldn't look at me; sometimes, he even looked through me.

　　Once, when I took him to the doctor, we talked to a specialist who was of my size, age and who had the same hair color as me.When it was time to go, Skyler went to her instead of me—he couldn't tell us apart.When Skyler was three, he spent three days at Camp Courageous for disabled children in Iowa, and when he returned he didn't even recognize me.

　　The pain was almost unbearable.My own son didn't even know I was his mother.

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