Abrams says: “Parents aren’t perfect; they’ve always acted up and done things kids are ashamed of. But things have gotten much, much worse in the last five or 10 years.”
What’s gotten into adults? “Part of it is the society that we live in,” Abrams says. “It’s gotten a lot more confrontational and in your face.”
Two developments also have changed the picture: fat college scholarships and pro sports contracts.
“Parents see the success of Earl Woods with Tiger Woods and want to do the same thing,” Abrams says. “But the chances are about 1-in-20,000 that your kid will make it.”
Abrams, who has coached youth hockey for 31 years, believes many parents live out an intense desire to succeed through their kids. When kids are surveyed as to why they quit youth sports, “the answer they give most often is that it’s not fun anymore, that the parents and coaches, the adults, have taken the fun out of it. There’s too much pressure to win.”
How bad is the parent problem? Engh’s organization estimates that the percentage of parents involved in confrontations and violent incidents at games has soared over the last five years from 5 percent to 15 percent.
“But kids can help their communities to stand up,” Engh says.
One way is to follow the example of Jupiter, Fla. In February, that town made its coaches go through special training in how to handle young athletes. It also required 6,000 parents in its youth programs to attend a one-hour sportsmanship seminar. If parents refused, their kids couldn’t play.
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