Single mothers often don’t have a choice of staying home with their kids, they have to work. But, they also don’t always have the choice of “leaning in.” They have so many responsibilities at home that they need flexibility, can’t always take on extra work or put in enough hours.
Despite having this problem myself, Sandberg’s book inspired me as a single mother and I decided LAWFI (Lean All the Way the Fuck In). Here is the process I went through: I took a bird’s eye view of my life and thought: “I am the only person that my kids have to depend on and I am going to work hard no matter what. I can either fight my way to the top or I can work hard and stretch myself thin without getting anywhere.”
I chose to fight. I watched videos on the Lean In website, I negotiated better, I took on challenges that were more than I thought I could handle. And then each time I thought that I had taken on too much, instead of backing down, I reached out for help.
I don’t have a husband, but I have friends and family who have gone above and beyond the call of duty. They have taken my kids when I worked late, they have fed us, loved us, housed us and given me the strength to keep going.
- Why I ‘Lean All The Way In’ As A Single Mother, HuffingtonPost.com, by Sarah Nadav, May 26, 2016.
3. I have always rejected the idea that a female point of view even exists in politics, for three reasons. First, just because we’re women doesn’t mean we all agree; and the suggestion that we should is a textbook and profound political sexism of its own, rendering us less by denying us the freedom to individuate. Second, a conception of “women’s politics” always takes as its starting point a demand for equality, and it makes no rational sense to limit that demand to equality between genders. There is no inequality between genders that isn’t interlaced with inequalities of wealth, race and power, or if there is, it’s not the most pressing. Third, the debating terms, when you talk about “female issues” often carry underlying prescriptions about how women should behave, which are themselves regressive and uninspiring. You can make the argument, forcefully, and on very solid turf, that any contraction of the state – be that in social care or services or public sector pay – will always fall disproportionately upon women, as they take up the burdens of care that the state once shouldered. While it may be true, that narrative isn’t galvanising; I don’t want to build a generous state on feminist grounds because I, by my nature, would otherwise spend my life mopping, tending and wiping. I reject care as a gendered activity.
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