Dressage was invented around 2,000 years ago when generals in ancient Greece figured out that in order to survive in battle a horse and rider must achieve perfect synergy. Horses were trained to make lightning-quick lateral movements and then burst into a gallop in any direction the soldier signaled. But just like in the modern Games, those ancient horsemen did little more than hang on and hope for the best once their four-legged partners swung into action.
Our poll identified rhythmic gymnastics, synchronized swimming and sailing as other cringe-worthy contenders for Most Boring Event Ever. The first two are the Olympic equivalents of chick flicks, while in terms of speed and athleticism, none of the sailing disciplines can hold a candle to what should be a no-brainer for inclusion in future Games: Jet Ski racing.
Of course, none of these pontifications will mean a thing to the billion or so people around the globe who will tune in to watch 306 events in 42 disciplines in Rio … and that’s how it should be. To each his own.
Still, we take comfort in knowing the International Olympic Committee would rather stick with slumber-inducing events like race walking and dressage than return to “experimental” competitions like the live pigeon shooting that was featured at the 1900 Games in Paris.
Yup, leave it to the French, who described the event as “très aristocratique” (very aristocratic). You can look it up: nearly 300 birds were slaughtered in a feathery bloodbath, with the top prize awarded to a Belgian shooter for his 21 confirmed kills.
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