Let’s use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You severely scold your daughter and she breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you blame your wife for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

　　Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and she misses the bus. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at the school and your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

　　After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, yet when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

　　Why did you have a bad day? Did the coffee cause it? Did your daughter cause it?

　　Here is what could have and should have happened.

　　Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

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