如果你遭遇了一些难事,你可以观察对方的反应。即使不是什么大事,你也可以看出在遭遇更艰难的事情时对方能帮上多少忙。如果他们不理会或不关心你的麻烦,这可能意味着他们害怕亲密,或者无法很好地沟通。
6. Do they have the same values as you?
对方的价值观是否和你相似?
People all have their certain deal breakers. For example, some will not tolerate drug use. Others are intent on not having children. Although it's hard to get into the big topics at the start of the relationship, you should find out if they have any values that are the total opposite of your own.
每个人都有自己的一些原则。比如有的人不能容忍吸毒,而有的人决意不要孩子。尽管在恋爱之初一般不会讨论这种重大话题,但你还是应该弄清楚对方是否有和你完全相悖的价值观。
"There's no use screwing yourself over in the long run basically," said Stott. "People don't broach it in the right way, [or] they think maybe I'll change, and they don't. Then it just becomes an issue later. There are some certain deal breakers that should be brought up early."
斯托特说:“从长远来看,欺骗自己是没用的。对方不会在一开始就坦白交代,他们想着有一天自己可能会改变,但他们不会改,拖到后来就成了问题。有一些原则性问题应该早早提出来。”
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