Maybe you've lost your job. Maybe you didn't get the promotion you were hoping for. Maybe your sweetheart broke up with you. People say "Don't take it personally" and "Don't let it get to you," but that's very hard to do.

　　If you're feeling disheartened, what are some strategies for making yourself feel better about yourself? It's pretty clear that repeating "I'm the greatest!" or winning a trophy along with every other second-grade soccer player isn't a good way to build healthy self-esteem.

　　At the same time, it's a rare person who isn't sometimes – or often – plagued with painful self-doubt. When you're feeling lousy(讨厌的) about yourself, what can you do to feel better?

　　Here's the secret. To build your self-respect…do something worthy of your respect. To like yourself better…do something that makes you likable. It's tempting to think that support and encouragement from other people will reassure you, but A) often that doesn't work and B) often you can't winkle other people into giving you a pep talk.

　　Here are some strategies to try:

　　Do a good deed. This is as selfish as it is selfless; you'll benefit as much as the person you're helping. I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection: she was fired from her job, she didn't get into the graduate program to which she'd applied, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine in the end, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, "I was practically addicted to doing good deeds for other people. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn't a total loser." Along the same lines…

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