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Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half an stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

Money isn’t everything , but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don’t have small children.

No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost.

People hardest to convince that it’s time for retirement are children at bedtime.

Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.

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