她翻开另一页,补充道“他热情、幽默、善良、稳重。对于这个与她共同生活并相爱了大半辈子的人,她这样写道:“他总会在我需要的时候陪伴我。
My friend John McHugh is always telling me things,
things that younger men need wiser,
older men to tell them.
Things like whom to trust,
how to love,
how to live a good life.
Not long ago John lost his wife,
Janet,
to cancer.
God knows she was a fighter,
but in the end the disease won their eight-
year battle.
One day John pulled a folded paper from his wallet.
He&
rsquo;
d found it,
he told me,
while going through drawers in his house.
It was a love note,
in Janet&
rsquo;
s handwriting.
It looked a little like a schoolgirl&
rsquo;
s daydream note about the boy across the way.
All that was missing was a hand-
drawn heart and the names John and Janet.
Except this note was written by the mother of seven children,
a woman who had begun the battle for her life,
and very probably was within months of the end.
It was also a wonderful prescription for holding a marriage together.
This is how Janet McHugh&
rsquo;
s note about her husband begins:
Loved.
Cared.
Worried.
As quick with a joke an John is,
apparently he didn&
rsquo;
t joke with his wife about cancer.
He&
rsquo;
d come home,
and she&
rsquo;
d be in one of the moods cancer patients get lost in,
and he&
rsquo;
d have her in the car faster than you can say DiNardo&
rsquo;
s,
her favorite restaurant. &
ldquo;
Get in the car,
he&
rsquo;
d say,
I&
rsquo;
m taking you out to dinner.
He worried,
and she knew it.
You don&
rsquo;
t hide things from someone who knows better.
&
ldquo;
Helped me when I was sick.
is next.
Maybe Janet wrote her list when the cancer was in one of those horrible and wonderful remission periods,
when all is as it was&
mdash;
almost&
mdash;
before the disease,
so what harm is there in hoping that it&
rsquo;
s behind you,
maybe for good?
&
ldquo;
Forgave me for a lot of things.
&
ldquo;
Stood by me.
And then,
good service to those of us who think giving constructive criticism is our religious calling: &
ldquo;
Always complimentary.
&
ldquo;
Provide everything I ever needed.
Janet McHugh next wrote.
Then she&
rsquo;
d turned the man she had lived with and been in love with for the majority of her life.
She&
rsquo;
d written:
Always there when I needed you.
The last thing she wrote sums up all the others.
I can picture her adding it thoughtfully to her list.
Good friend.
I stand beside John now,
unable even to pretend that I know what it feels like to lose someone so close.
I need to hear what he has to say,
much more than he needs to talk.
&
ldquo;
John,
I ask,
how do you stick by someone through 38
years of marriage. &
ldquo;
let done the sickness too?
How do I know I&
rsquo;
d have what it takes to stand by my wife if she got sick?
&
ldquo;
you will,
he says.
If you love her enough,
you will.
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