Almost all of us have images of how life should be. The problem, of course, is that only rarely do people's jobs, spouses, and children live up to these imagined ideals. Here's a personal example: No one in my family had ever divorced. I assumed that marriage was for life. So when my wife and I divorced after five years of marriage and three years after the birth of our son, my world caved in. I was a failure in my own eyes.
I later remarried but confided to my wife, Fran, that I could not shake the feeling that my family life had failed. She asked me what was wrong with our family now. I had to admit that, our family life was wonderful. "Then why don't you celebrate it?" she asked. That is what I decided to do. But first I had to get rid of the image of a "perfect" family.
幸福的人看到的总是已有的那半桶水。
One effective way of sabotaging happiness is to look at something and fixate on even the smallest flaw. It's like looking up at a tiled ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is missing. As a bald man told me, "Whenever I enter a room, all I see is hair." Once you've determined what your missing tile is, explore whether acquiring it will really make you happy. Then do one of three things: get it, replace it with a different tile, or forget about it and focus on the tiles in your life that are not missing.
幸福与贫富无关。
I have spent years studying happiness, and one of the most significant conclusion I've drawn is this; there is little correlation between the circumstance of people's lives and how happy they are, A moment's reflection should make this obvious. We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy. And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy.
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