赢得美满婚姻,要学会认输_美文_双语阅读-查字典英语网

赢得美满婚姻,要学会认输

7]The issues that people argue over most in marriage, such as how to spend money, often aren’t the real ones. The key issue is: who is going to be in control? When I was younger, my need to control arose out of fear, a lack of trust, insecurity. The day I finally realized I didn’t need to control my wife—that, indeed, I ought not control her, that I couldn’t control her, and that if I tried to, I would destroy our marriage—was the day our marriage began.

[7]人们在婚姻中争吵的那些事情诸如怎样花钱之类，往往并不是争执的真正所在。争执的关键是谁来控制。当我年青的时候，我想去控制是因为出于恐惧，是缺乏信任和安全感。当我终于认识到我不必控制我的妻子的时候，我们的婚姻才算真正开始。确实，我不应该控制我的妻子，我也不能去控制她，如果我要这样去做，我就会毁坏我们的婚姻。

[8]Giving up control is often confused with weakness. But the winner in a domestic argument is never really the winner. When you win a battle and your partner submits, you have, paradoxically, lost.

[8]放弃控制对方常常与软弱相混淆。其实家庭内争吵的赢家永远不可能是真正的赢家。当你赢得了一场口角，使你的另一半屈服了，你其实恰恰相反，是输家了。

[9]What is it we want most from a marriage? To love and be loved. To be happy and secure. To grow, to discover. A love relationship is the garden in which we plant, cultivate and harvest the most precious of crops, our own self, and in which our spouse is provided the same rich soil in which to bloom.