[12]你也许已听说过这样的权力策略：“我可以随意花我自己的钱。或：“你怎么这样麻烦？吉姆的妻子就高兴他随便去哪儿。

[13]Instead of such strategies, he might try empowering his partner: “Honey, I’d like to go on a fishing trip with the boys. What do you think? “I thought we were going away. “How about this fall? I’ve always wanted to take a trip with you to see the fall foliage in New England. “Good idea. I’ll go see my mother while you’re fishing. Such a dialogue, as idealistic as it sounds, is born of a marriage of mature adults.

[13]不采用这种办法，丈夫可以把事情让妻子自己决定：“亲爱的，我想和小伙子们一块去钓鱼，你看怎样？ “我想还是我们一块出去吧。 “今年秋天再去怎样？我一直想跟你去新英格兰看一看秋天的落叶。 “好吧。你去钓鱼而我回家看母亲。 这样的对话，听起来是最理想的了。它只能发生在很成熟的成年人配偶之间。

[14]But what if she says, “You always make promises you never keep. This fall there will be some excuse. I think you owe me a trip first? Now he must decide. Is she right? She could be, you know. When the couple arrives at this juncture, it’s time for him to listen.

[14]但如果妻子说：“你从不信守诺言。到今年秋天你又会有别的借口。我想是你首先欠我一次出游，对吧？这样丈夫就必须决定，他的妻子是否正确。要知道，他的妻子可能是正确的。当双方到了这样一个关键时刻，丈夫就应该听从了。

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