[17]也许她会愤怒地告诉你她为什么受伤,不要拖延,只管倾听她激愤的表达。当你发现她的痛处是什么时,你可以说出它的原因,这样激愤就可以平抚。
[18]You’re allowed to get angry too. But dumping anger on your partner is a poor way to soothe your hurt. When you talk of your hurt without anger, an unangry response usually comes.
[18]你自己也可以表示愤怒,但是对你的配偶宣泄你的激愤不是一个抚平内心伤痛的好办法。你如心平气和地说出你的隐伤,你会得到心平气和的理解。
[19] So remember: If you want to overcome anger in your relationship, search for the hurt. If you want to feel loved and respected, give up control. And if you want to win arguments at home, learn to lose them.
[19]所以请记住:如果你要想在你们的关系中克服激愤,那么就要找出内心的伤痛;如果你要想得到爱和尊重,就必须放弃对伴侣的控制;如果你想要赢得家中的口角,就先学会认输吧!
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