I remember once reading an article about Steffi Graf, who used to dominate women’s tennis in the 1980s and 1990s. The interviewer asked Graf what trait she most deplores in other people.
“Inconsideration,” she says.
“Wow,” I remember murmuring to myself. I mean, surely there are worse personal traits that that, aren’t there? How about selfishness, vanity, immaturity, dishonesty, bad tempers and cruelty?
Well, suffice to say that Graf has emotional intelligence and has it aplenty.
All right, let’s read a few media examples to gain a greater understanding of emotional intelligence, something that’s been studied closely only fairly recently:
1. Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and emotional intelligence; you simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Although some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, you can develop high emotional intelligence even if you aren’t born with it.
Personality is the final piece of the puzzle. It’s the stable “style” that defines each of us. Personality is the result of hard-wired preferences, such as the inclination toward introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence. Also like IQ, personality is stable over a lifetime and doesn’t change. IQ, emotional intelligence, and personality each cover unique ground and help to explain what makes a person tick.
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