Now, what does that mean? Practically speaking, it means you can no longer rely on people in positions of power to do things for you because they care about you. The people you’re going to meet whom you need to help you get a job, or an apartment, or a loan, or advice – the people to whom later you will point to and say, “Hey, she gave me my first break!” – those people are looking for something in return.
Now, what is that something? It can be tricky to figure out. It might be your loyalty, your respectability, that you have a diploma from Dartmouth, your brains, your cleverness, your politeness. Different people are going to want you for different reasons, but your first boss and every boss you ever will have will want something very simple: your hard work and your good attitude.
Now, the transactional nature of the world might sound harsh, but it isn’t necessarily.
Put it this way: A screenwriter sells her idea to a studio. The studio wants to make her movie. They start conducting screen tests. In this parable, you’re, say, Vin Diesel. You audition. You have to. No one is going to give you that job out of the kindness of their hearts. They need to have confidence that you will be Fast and Furious. So they can sell $380 million worth of movie tickets.
But here is the exquisite bit of good news, for those of you paying attention: Now, you know this; now, you know that it all comes down to you figuring out what you can offer them. It’s a lesson it took me several years to learn – maybe even more than that, maybe a decade or two – but once I did, it was invaluable.
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