然而,那次理想之神并没有垂青于我,改稿失败了。我把那次改稿失败的原因归咎于河南的大碗面条,我在确山下火车后,走进一家面馆,要了一碗一元钱的面条。好大一碗面条啊,还垒了两个鸡蛋,那是我至今吃过的最大的一碗面条。吃过后,肠胃不适,接下来几天的饮食,造成水土不服。最后的结果,一十四篇稿子,在终审时刷落三篇,我的那篇《青春惑》就是其中之一。其余十一篇稿子都是三等奖以上,而我不仅没有获奖,就连发表都黄了。曾有师长向我许诺,只要这次我的小说发表与获奖,我就能马上改变在乡村教书的命运。但这一切都落空了,我的师长很为我遗憾。我在走向理想的路上,遭受了重创。这致命的一击,使我沉沦了很长一段时间。我深切地感受到,理想很遥远,像夜空的星辰一样,遥不可及。我也清醒地认识到,失败并不是因为河南的大碗面条,而是因为我的实力不够。理想是山那边的一座城堡,我能清晰地看到它富丽堂皇的轮廓,然而我却无缘踏上它汉白玉铺成的台阶。我眼前的山太高,我已挪不动沉重的脚步翻越这座山。
However, the ideal God didn't care for me at that time and failed to revise the manuscript. I blamed the failure of the revision on the big bowl of noodles in Henan Province. After I got off the train in Queshan, I went into a noodle shop and asked for a bowl of noodles for one yuan. What a big bowl of noodles, and two eggs. That's the biggest bowl of noodles I've ever eaten. After eating, gastrointestinal discomfort, the next few days of diet, resulting in acclimatization. The final result is that there are three of the fourteen manuscripts in the final judgment, and my "youth puzzle" is one of them. The rest of the 11 articles are third prize or above, and I not only didn't win the prize, but even published them. A teacher promised me that as long as my novel was published and awarded, I would immediately change my fate of teaching in the countryside. But it all failed. My teacher is very sorry for me. I was hit hard on my way to my ideal. This deadly blow, I sink for a long time. I feel deeply that the ideal is far away, like the stars in the night sky, far away. I also clearly realize that the failure is not because of the big bowl of noodles in Henan, but because of my lack of strength. The ideal is a castle on the other side of the mountain. I can see its magnificent outline clearly, but I am not bound to step on the steps paved with white marble. The mountain in front of me is so high that I can't move over it with heavy steps.
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