9. You never fight

　　你们从来不吵架

　　A good argument is essential, every now and then. In part, arguing helps bring out the little stuff before it becomes major, but also, fighting expresses anger which is a perfectly normal part of a humans emotional make-up. Your relationship has to be strong enough to hold all of who you are, not just the sunny stuff.

　　偶尔的争论很重要。从某种程度上来说，争吵可以在大问题出现前就消化掉根源的小矛盾。通过争吵表达愤怒，也是我们情感渲泄最完美的方法。你们的感情要足够牢固，可以包容你们的所有一切，而不只是快乐阳光的一面。

　　10. You expect it to be easy/you expect it to be hard

　　你以为感情很容易/很难

　　There are two deeply problematic attitudes about relationships. One is that a relationship should be easy, that if you really love each other and are meant to be together, it will work itself out. The other is that anything worth having is going to be hard and that therefore if its hard, it must be worth having. The outcome of both views is that you dont work at your relationship and quickly get burnt out.

　　有两种观点对感情的理解非常不对：一种认为维系感情很容易，如果真的深爱彼此注定会在一起，那就顺其自然，车到山前必有路;一种认为只有历尽艰险才能值得拥有，所以既然经过各种磨难和艰苦，那这段感情肯定值得拥有。这两种观点的结果是，你不会经营感情，而爱的花火也会很快熄灭。

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