I think that youve come to rationalize avoiding something thats difficult for you. You have to learn to date. I know its awkward and scary, but what youre doing is trying to find some shortcut or loophole or easy way out that will allow you to avoid doing something that I think you know you need to do. This same psychology is why overweight people keep buying miracle pills instead of getting on the treadmill.

　　只做朋友不恋爱，我觉得你只是在合理地避免一些困难的事情，你必须学会如何约会。我知道约会很尴尬很吓人，但如果你想先做朋友，那你只是在走捷径找漏洞，用轻松简单的相处方式让你可以免于约会里的种种麻烦。这跟超重的人拼命买特效药而不愿意运动减肥的心理是一样的。

　　4. You Havent Made Her Feel Desirable

　　你没有让她觉得自己魅力不可挡

　　Of course you should be respectful and not treat women as objects, but it is quite possible to do that and act like a man and make a woman feel like she is beautiful and desirable at the same time. Women dont want to be treated as porcelain dolls -- they want to be treated as adults. And in the context of dating, most of them like being treated as attractive, sexy adults by a man who acts like a man, not one who acts like a starstruck boy.

　　你当然应该尊重女性不能拿她们当玩物，但是同时你也应该像个男人一样，让女人觉得她很漂亮很有魅力。女人可不想被人当瓷娃娃一样对待，你得拿她们当成年人看待。在约会的情况下，女性大都希望能被对方当做魅力而性感的成年人对待，而相对地，男性也别表现得像个幼稚的追星族一样。

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