根据第2条的原则,我们来看看下面这个主体段:
Hobbies are important for many reasons. First, a hobby can be educational. For example, if the hobby is stamp collecting, the person can learn about the countries of the world and even some of their history. Second, engaging in a hobby can lead to meeting other people with the same interests. A person can also meet other people by going to the school. Third, a persons free time is being used in a positive way. The person has no time to be bored or get into mischief while engaged in the hobby. Finally, some hobbies can lead to a future job. A person who enjoys a hobby-related job is more satisfied with life.
这段话的topic sentence很明显-Hobbies are important for many reasons,之后的支持句从三方面阐述hobby的重要性,但段中这句话A person can also meet other people by going the school与hobby重要的原因没有关系,因此削弱了整个段落的连贯性与统一性,应该被去掉。
3. Add details. To write a more fully developed paragraph, you need to add details to your supporting ideas. Your details can be facts, examples, personal experiences, or descriptions.
根据第3条的原则,我们来看下面这个段落:
The Smithsonian Institution is worth visiting for a number of reasons. The Smithsonian Institution comprises various museums that offer something for everyone. These museums include the National Museum of History and Technology, the National Aeronautics and Space Museum, the National Collection of Fine Arts, the National Museum of Natural History, and several others. A person can do more than just look at the exhibits. For example, in the insect zoo at the National Museum of Natural History, anyone who so desires can handle some of the exhibits. The museums provide unforgettable experiences. In climbing through the Skylab exhibit at the National Aeronautics and Space Museum, I was able to imagine what it would be like to be an astronaut in space. Movies shown at regular intervals aid in building an appreciation of our world. In the National Aeronautics and Space Museum, there is a theater that has a large screen. When the movie is shown, it gives the viewer the feeling that he or she is in the movie itself, either floating above the Earth in a hot-air balloon or hang gliding over cliffs.
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