仔细理解不难发现其实1句和2句之间的关系是平等的,均属于观点句。为了让这两个句子凸显出相应的地位,以区别中间的举例部分,建议在1句和2句之前各添加表示递进的逻辑连词,如whats more或 in addition. 修改后如下文:
To begin with, home-working enables employees to work at ease. For example, those with childcare responsibilities could arrange their schedule flexibly. Whats more, working at home ensures employers multiple options in human resource
二、错用逻辑连词。
如:
1 One hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease. 2 Nevertheless, these who are disabled can avoid many difficulties.
原文中1句和2句的逻辑连词都用错了。首先,从语法形式上看,逻辑连接词一般由连词、连接副词、介词、介词短语等充当。而1句的句首one hand是一个名词短语,证明不正确。我们需要做的修改是将one hand改成一个介词短语on one hand作为1句的逻辑连词;而相对应的逻辑连词应该是on the other hand,衔接与1句中观点相对应的另一方观点。比如:
On one hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease. On the other hand, employees may be confronted with some problems brought by home-working.
而对于2句中的连词使用错误是nevertheless这个逻辑词的意义与2句中的内涵不符。原文中的2句 these who are disabled can avoid many difficulties 是对1句观点的一个扩展和支持。所以2句和1句之间的逻辑不应该是nevertheless所表达的转折关系;相反,应该是递进或举例关系,所以可以做以下修改:
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