改正:Those people who raise pets, such as dogs and cats, are more likely to gain happiness and relieve their loneliness.
2. 应避免引用一项调查研究,并同时伴有过多数据。应将数据去掉,用含糊的方法表示。
改正:There is much evidence to show that the number of people smoking has increased at an alarming rate in China.
3. 应避免将例子局限在一个国家,尤其是中国。应将范围放至全世界。
改正:Many children around the world like to sit in front of the screen for a long time, leading to their poor eyesight. throughout the world can recover rapidly and rebuild their homeland.
通过上面的分析,我们就可以看到,中国考生由于各种原因,虽然喜欢举例子,但是应用并不熟练,大家需要在备考雅思议论文写作考试的时候,对此加以适当的集中式练习,这样才能更好的掌握写作的方法,也有更好的成绩上的表现。最后,雅思预祝大家在雅思考试中取得好成绩!
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