雅思写作范文修改：传统文化在流失_雅思英语写作

雅思写作范文修改：传统文化在流失

　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldnt keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.

　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?

　　修改：

　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture

　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.

　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve peoples life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.

　　 Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.

　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom

　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.