In conclution,Teacher plays a significant role in Education of students. The academic knowledges and social skills were learned through the teachers. Thus, They should not only teach varions knowledges, but teach every social technologies as well.
整体点评:
原文问题包括:
1.简单的语法和表达错误
2.论证过程逻辑混乱
3.没有完成写作任务之中的:state personal view
4.语言,尤其是句式的变化有待提高
针对以上问题,建议:
1. 在写作之前:按照课上多讲先结构、后句式的审题顺序将文章结构安排合理。
2. 日常的写作练习中强化单句写作的能力:即,一种意思能用两种以上表达方式进行写作。
3. 写完整篇文章之后:务必检查:单复数、拼写等。
修改版:
As to the responsibility of teachers, one argument is that they should solely teach students about academic subjects. While, the other view is that they ought to teach the students how to distinguish right from wrong, and how to be a human being well. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the above opinions and state my personal view.
(点评:所出现错误均为简单语法和拼写错误,还有句子衔接出现问题. 观点的顺序需要与下文顺序一致。)
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