However,(上文主要讨论过去的情况,而接下来将讨论现在的变化)now the things have changed around.(必须避免使用,连接两个句子。正确的处理方法是,要么采用断句的方法,要么添加连词。)People in a long distance contact their lovesd one in ways, which improve(主谓一致,which代替ways。)the interaction level between two persons. Quality (用词重复)of the interaction between people and people(主谓之间不能添加,。)has been improved(这里使用被动是因为沟通质量的提升是因为技术的发展。)because they are equipped with high-techdevices which enhances their communication. There are many(重复)mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So the technology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep in touch with each other at any time anywhere in the world.(不应该单独成段,应该和上一段结合在一起。)(本句应该被删除,因为没有提出任何新的观点,并且与上文的句子非常重复。)
【雅思作文评分标准四个方面及高分范文】相关文章:
★ 雅思写作分享6
最新
2016-06-13
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29
2016-02-29