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优秀作文精析

　　Take my father as an example. He was denied higher education for historical reasons. But by self?study he became a technician in a factory. Many people thought he was content. But he never stopped studying. He took courses of law in his spare time. Later he became a lawyer. “The finishing point is just a new starting point”, he said to me. （219 words）

　　该文在阅卷中获得18分（满分20分）的好成绩，是有原因的。内容切题，表达清楚，语义连贯，最大的特点是句式富有变化，基本功扎实。文章的第一句，作者就用了定语从句、分词结构两种形式，使阅卷人眼前一亮，接下来分析图画的寓意，也很简洁到位。最后一段的举例也是一个亮点，运用父亲不断学习的事例来进一步论证观点，具体而贴切，不落俗套。另外，句子结构和用词正确，但也有个别错误，如上文第二段标出的“master”与“improve”并列，应用“mastering”的形式，但毕竟“瑕不掩瑜”。

　　低分作文：

　　All things in their being are good for something.

　　天生我才必有用。The place of end point is also the starting point. From the picture, we can see a young man who is running toward the end point, it?s very clearly to show that every one of us must effort and can?t stop for the aim of us in the fierce competition society. As we all know, firstly, a young man who study and work in the modern society need have a spirit of to study hard and activity, to keep a good situation and position.