教师评析:该篇作文行文流畅,结构清晰,以“first,Next,Finally”的结构描述,层次感很强。不定式的恰当运用体现了考生较好的语法功底。
教师拟评分:9分
[例2]Six years' school life
审题:该题要求考生对学校生活进行回顾和总结,适合以夹叙夹议的方式来写作。(此外,从情感教育的角度来看,阅卷老师总希望读到考生回忆自己美好、快乐的学校生活,而不是讨厌自己的母校、老师、同学等消极情绪的体现。)
学生作文:I've been in my school forsix years.Six years' school life plays an important role in my life. I enjoy making friends, getting knowledge and having interesting time in my school. I have also made friendship with lots of classmates, and I have also been taught different lessons by lots of different patient teachers. I have grown up a lot in the pastsix years. I will never forget mysix years' school life.
教师评析:整篇作文非常明快、流畅,体现了考生对母校依依不舍的情怀。由于是对学校生活的回顾和总结,考生恰当地选择以现在完成时作为主要的时态来强调影响和结果,文中"plays an important role"这一词组和被动语态的正确运用也体现了考生良好的词汇和语法功底。
教师拟评分:10分
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