If you come here, I will show you around Shanghai. You can live at my home and my mother will cook you much delicious food. Let's be best friends!

Yours sincerely,

Xiaomin

　　教师拟评分：9分

　　［例4］写一篇题为“A Visit To_____”的日记。

　　审题：该题为半命题式作文。考生除了要注意运用正确的日记格式，还可根据自己的经验和熟悉程度来选择、确定文章的主题.

　　学生作文：

May 25th, 2004 　　 sunny　

A Visit To Jinmao Building

　　Jinmao Building has Chinese traditional styles and it is also modern. It is the signal construction of Shanghai. It is located in the center of Lujiazui Financial Area. Our family visited Jinmao Building today.

　　The traffic there is very convenient. You can got here by tunnel and No.2 subway. And if you live near it, you can walk there just like our family. We went to the eighty-eighth floor of Jinmao Building. We saw the whole view of Shanghai there. Please come to Jinmao Building, and you will get some unexpected gains there.

　　教师评析：整篇作文主题明确，对于金茂大厦的描述也较具体，文中“the signal construction”一词是全文的亮点。但整篇文章的层次不够清晰，句子也以简单句为主，对于参观这一动词的阐述还不够充分。

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