本段评点
许多学生过多地使用了therefore和thus. 这样的词是用来得出结论的。很多人只看有利的一面而忽视不利的一面这句话中用而或者并且连接两个分句,而不可以使用 therefore, thus, as a result 等表达。这样导致问题这两个方面的逻辑关系混乱,其实并不是因为人们只看有利面而导致忽视不利一面这个结果。
学生习作
My family used to live in a village, but my parents went to urban to work and I to study. It was a long distance, so we had to spend an average of 3.5 hours in our car everyday. We had to get up early to set out and return home late at night. Moreover, we could not watch TV together, but be together in the car, feeling sleepy. Of course, we were unwilling to accept the situation and we thought of moving to the urban area to save our time and to live a more convenient life. So we did, half a year ago.
语言修改
My family used to live in a village, but my parents moved to the city to work and I to study. It was a long distance to travel to the city every day with an average of 3.5 hours spent in our car. We had to get up early to set out and return home late at night. Unlike other families that watch TV or have other fun together, we spent hours in a car, which was boring and even painful. Of course, this situation was unacceptable to us so we thought of moving to the city to save time and make our lives more convenient.. So we did, half a year ago.
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