What good would it have done anyone if my father had embraced the sorrow of losing his wife of 49 years just as he was thinking about retiring to spend more time with her? Sometimes wishing days are happy can make them so. As much as it drove his daughters crazy, I'm sure my mother's last months were better because my father was planning a family vacation with all the grandkids to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary。
And honestly? He knew what was happening and chose to face it without undue sadness or fear. When I was 10, a neighbor was hit by a delivery truck and killed while riding her bicycle to play at the school ballfields. A few weeks after that funeral, Dad and I played catch in the backyard. "Two hands, keep your eye on the ball," he coached as we tossed it back and forth over the clothesline. (I've been following that advice all my life. A woman could do worse than keep her eye on the ball of what matters in life and hold on to it tightly, with two hands。) Anyway, I asked him why that awful truck had killed my friend. It was so unfair. Dad said, "Life's not fair." He didn't say it with any bitterness at all. He said it like Satchel Paige said, "You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out." Even an optimist like my dad understands that some things don't turn out right. The difference is, he knows it is your response to hard times that counts, and his is always to land on his feet, grateful to still be here, with a story to tell。
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