G) Happily, as awkward as making new friends can be, self-esteem issues do not factor in -- or if they do, you can easily put them into perspective. Danzig tells of the mother of a child in her sons pre-school, a tall, beautiful woman who is married to a big-deal rock musician. I said to my husband, shes too cool for me, she jokes. I get intimidated by people. But once I got to know her, she turned out to be pretty laid-back and friendly. In the end there was no chemistry between them, so they didnt become good pals. I realized that we werent each others type, but it wasnt about hierarchy. What midlife friendship is about, it seems, is reflecting the person youve become (or are still becoming) back at yourself, thus reinforcing the progress youve made in your life.
H) Harlene Katzman, 41, a lawyer in New York City, notes that her oldest friends knew her back when she was less sure of herself. As much as she loves them, she believes they sometimes respond to is-sues in light of who she once was. An old chum has the goods on you. With recently made friends, you can turn over a new leaf.
I) A new friend, chosen right, can also help you point your boat in the direction you want to go. Hanna Dershowitz, 39, an attorney and mother in Los Angeles, found that a new acquaintance from workwas exactly what she needed in a friend. In addition to liking and respecting Julia, Dershowitz had a feeling that the fit and athletic younger woman would help her to get in shape.
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