His generosity is also evident in his relationship with his colleagues,neighbors and friends.He has been responsible for many good deeds and has always been there to help all the people around him in times of trouble.Everyone knows that he will gladly lend a helping hand.
He is so generous that you almost have to feel sorry for him.If one day he suddenly became selfish,it would be earthshaking.Thats my grandfather.
23.3 Analysis of the Two Model Essays(两例范文的分析)
The first passage is more effective,for it offers specific examples that show us the father in action.We see for ourselves why the writer describes the father as bad-tempered.It also uses transitional phrases or sentence to organize the passange more clearly and logically.Usingone day,the writer introduces us the first example of his fathers hot temper;Another timeindicates the second example and the transitional sentenceMy father also gives my older brothers a hard time with his irritable moodsindicates another example will follow.It is the supporting examples and the transitional devices that make the passage more effective and coherent.
The second writer,on the other hand,gives us no specific evidence.The writer tells us repeatedly that the grandfather is generous but never shows us examples of that generosity.Just how,for instance,did the grandfather sacrifice his life for his children and grandchildren?Did the grandfather hold two jobs so that his soncould go to college,or so that his daughter could finish her education?Does he give up time with his wife and friends to travel every day to his daughters house to baby sit,go to the store,and help with the dishes?We need to judge for ourselves whether the writer is making a valid point about the grandfather,but with out specific details we cannot do so.In fact,we have almost no picture of the grandfather at all.
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