Revised: To get ready for the trip, she put all the things she needed into a suitcase.
此句中有所谓的悬垂修饰语(To get)。它与所要修饰的名词或代词没有结构上的联系。那个名词或代词有时甚至不在句中;即使在句中,也不应被现有的修饰语所修饰。因为用了悬垂修饰语,这种句子就缺少连贯性,也就让人难以理解了。
Faulty: The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.
Revised: The idea he first mentioned sounded good.
The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.
此句中的at first即可修饰mentioned,又可修饰sounded,这种摸棱两可的修饰应该避免。
好的句子II
3.简洁
句中不应有任何不必要的词。只要意思充分地表达了,用的词越少越好。用词过多只会使意思模糊,而不是更清晰。所以最好在写完一篇文章后,仔细检查一两遍,删去一些不必要的词。试比较:
Wordy: It was blue in color.
It was small in size.
Mary is a quiet and careful woman.
He returned in the early part of the month of August.
Concise: It was blue.
It was small.
Mary is quiet and careful.
He returned in the early August.
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