people from the united states may at first seem friendly. americans often chat easily with strangers. they exchange information about their families, hobbies and work. they may smile warmly and say, "have a nice day" or "see you later." schoolmates may say, "let's get together sometime." but american friendliness is not always an offer of true friendship.
after an experience like yaser's, outsiders may consider americans to be fickle. learning how americans view friendship can help non-americans avoid misunderstandings. it can also help them make friends the american way.
here are a few tips on making friends with americans:
1. visit places americans enjoy: parties, churches, western restaurants, parks, sports clubs.
2. be willing to take the first step. don't wait for them to approach you. americans in china may not know you speak english. they may be embarrassed if they can't speak your language.
3. use small talk to open the conversation. ask them where they're from, why they came to china, etc. remember: be careful to avoid personal questions about age, salary, marital status and appearance.
4. show an interest in their culture, their country or their job. (americans like to talk about themselves!)
5. invite them to join you for dinner or just for coffee or tea. try to set a specific time. americans sometimes make general invitations like "let's get together sometime." often this is just a way to be friendly. it is not always a real invitation.
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