And, Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it.
You know, I’ve had the privilege of being at the Al Smith dinners in years past and I always enjoy it. But, remember, if you’re not happy with the way it comes out, it must be rigged.
And it’s always a special treat for me to be back in New York; a city that I love and which I think truly embodies the best of America. You know – don’t you think?
People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a “four.”
Maybe a “five” if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair. You know, come to think of it, you know what would be a good number for a woman? Forty-five.
But I digress. Now, I’m going to try my best tonight, but I understand I am not known for my sense of humor. That’s why it did take a village to write these jokes.
People say – and I hear them, I know – they say I’m boring compared to Donald. But I’m not boring at all. In fact, I’m the life of every party I attend and I’ve been to three.
And when the parties get out of hand, as occasionally they do, it’s important to have a responsible chaperone who can get everyone home safely. And that is why I picked Tim Kaine to be my Vice President.
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