③总结概括:

　　If I get the chance and become a teacher, I would ...

　　初稿:

　　I have read about the news that students who want to teach in his or her hometown for at least 10 years can study at some colleges for free. If I had the chance, I would become a teacher in my hometown.    Firstly, to be a teacher is my dream. When I was young I admired my teacher very much and I wanted to be a teacher in the future. Secondly, this policy is very good for us, for it is free. It is very expensive for me to have college education, especially because my parents are workers, so I want to help them to save money. Thirdly, I want to get the chance to serve the people in my hometown.      All in all, I’m willing to teach the children and achieve my true value in my hometown.

　　1. 初稿根据题目要求,表明了自己的观点,解释了具体的原因。全文覆盖了所有内容要点,完成了试题规定的写作任务。语法结构和词汇选用方面虽然存在些许错误,但并未影响全篇内容的表达。此外,文章还有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,过渡自然,行文连贯,表达比较准确。

　　2. 文章存在的问题:

　　①在陈述观点时,作者使用了含有虚拟语气的复合句:If I had the chance, I would become a teacher in my hometown.这不符合表达的习惯,因为这是将来的打算,最好不用虚拟语气,建议将其改为If I have the chance, I want to be a teacher in my hometown.

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