And knowing that many people will see an expression of insecurity as a sign of weakness, you may, sometimes, have to act with greater confidence than you are actually feeling. This will mean, for example, adopting a less tentative linguistic style, reducing the number of qualifiers you use, being more forceful in your voice tone and making eye contact.
Practice self-talk. If you find yourself making negative statements about yourself, monitor them, write them down and reframe them in a positive way.
And try to avoid overinterpreting or making a catastrophe out of things. If your boss has some critical comments about your last report, it doesn’t mean that he or she considers all of your work bad, that you’ll never write another good report or that you’re going to be fired.
If you have too great a need for approval, learn to deal with a lack of it so that it doesn’t cut you to the quick.
So if you’re insecure about being insecure, relax -- but not too much. Let your insecurity give you the edge.
- Insecurity -- in all its painfully needy ways -- can be strength, by Barbara Moses, Globe and Mail, March 16, 2007.
About the author:
Zhang Xin is Trainer at chinadaily.com.cn. He has been with China Daily since 1988, when he graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University. Write him at: zhangxin@chinadaily.com.cn, or raise a question for potential use in a future column.
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