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　　When I was growing up, I was ashamed to be seen with my father. He was severely disabled and very short, and when we would walk together, his hand on my arm for balance, people would stare. If he ever noticed or was bothered, he never let on.

　　It was difficult to coordinate（协调）our steps—his slow, mine impatient—and because of that, we didn’t say much as we went along. But as we started out, he always said, “You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you.”

　　He never talked about himself as an object of , nor did he show any envy of the more fortunate or able. What he looked for in others was a “good heart”, and if he found one, the owner was good enough for him. I believe that is a proper standard by which to judge people, even though I still don’t know accurately what a “good heart” is.

　　Unable to

　　in many activities, my father still tried to participate in some way. I now know he participated in some things indirectly through me, his only son. When I played ball (poorly), he “played” too. When I joined the Navy, he “joined” too. And when I came home on leave, he saw to it that I visited his office. Introducing me, he was really saying, “This is my son, but it is also me, and I could have done this, too, if things had been different.” Those words were never said aloud.

　　He has been gone many years now, but I think of him often. I wonder if he sensed my unwillingness to be seen with him during our walks. If he did, I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was, how unworthy I was, how I regretted it. I think of him when I complain about small affairs, when I am envious of another’s good fortune, when I don’t have a “good heart”.

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